June 5, 2014

Apparently, Everybody Was Constipated Back In 1940

As I have previously mentioned, Jamie and Lilly go to Jamie's Dad's house to visit every weekend.  And when they come back home, Jamie is usually dragging in some old crap with him.  (See The Vintage Velour Jumpsuit).  Usually the stuff is junk (and I make him throw it away), but sometimes the stuff is pretty cool.  This time Jamie brought home some real gems.

Years ago, Jamie happened to be in a cool old house that allegedly belonged to a doctor, which was about to be torn down to apparently make room for a stupid grocery store/dollar store/little restaurant combo-mini-mall.  Jamie discovered some neat old magazines up in the attic of the old house, and took them home with him.  He stashed them in his old bedroom closet at home and forgot about them.  Until he re-discovered them over this past weekend and brought them to our house to enjoy!

Here's the cover of one of the old mags:

They are so fun to look at!  I really enjoy looking at old stuff like that.  It's kind of like stepping back in time.  Most enjoyable to me is looking at the old advertisements.  Upon the review of just one magazine however, I soon noticed an odd trend.  In just that first 50-page magazine I perused, there were no fewer than 7 advertisements for laxatives, and 1 ad for hemorrhoid cream!

O__o  

1940, you've got some 'splainin' to do!

Check 'em out!:








See what I mean?  It almost makes your belly (and butt) hurt just looking at these ads!  And all those ads above were in just one magazine alone!  :/

Here are some more pooping-related ads from the next batch of magazines:





And now, on to some more advertisements for embarrassing personal care products...this time, just for the ladies...!:







Apparently, the only embarrassing personal care product that men needed (besides laxatives and 'roid cream) was this:
LOL..."Mange Medicine"!!!

And now, on to some more interesting advertisements of a medical nature.

First of all, would you take this medicine?:
I'm sorry...I didn't catch the name?  What was that again?:
That's what I thought you said.  Pardon the pun, but WHAT THE HELL?!?  I mean, seriously!  Of all the names in the whole entire world that you could possibly give to a medicine, and you choose 666?!?  I don't even know what to say!  They should have followed up their ad with the phrase "Send your cold to the devil"!

Another alarming medical treatment I ran across in the magazines' advertising was this:
Now wait just a minute.  Did I understand that right?  A treatment for asthma that comes in mixtures for cigarette or pipe use?  Let's see another ad for this type of treatment...
Yep, that's exactly what they were talking about.  Who knew that smokin' could help your asthma?  They need to bring this wonder-cure back!  I can't imagine why it wouldn't work perfectly!

And moving on to the kitchen, apparently housewives baking awful cakes was a major faux pas, and a source of earth-shattering shame if you didn't get it right:

And here's another housewife whose life is ruined because she made a sh*tty cake:

Are these women ever gonna listen to their mothers-in-law and get their @$$es to the store to get some Royal Brand Baking Powder so their cakes don't turn out like a heaping pile of terds anymore?:

Hopefully, these poor housewives will get their acts together soon in the cake-baking department.  But until then, they should probably step up their game as far as keeping the attention of their husbands, by making sure they look as good as possible (you know, to try to help make up for all those lousy cakes):










But if you can't win your man over with your looks (no matter how much soap and lotion and toothpaste you use), then you can always go for the tried-and-true method of "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach"...:







But, even after all his wife's cookin', the husband will inevitably trot off back to his mama's at least once a month for his dang ol' stupid favorite cake:

Well, with all that eatin' and ex-lax takin' goin' on, there's another chore that will need to be taken care of, and that is this:

Here are some more random tid-bits and advertisements that I thought were funny, weird, neat, or interesting:



















And for the Grand Finale...Dorky Old Jokes:

But that's not all...I've got more crazy old stuff to show you in the next installment...stay tuned...!

June 2, 2014

Today's Park Adventures

Today me and Lilly spent the day at the park.  There is a chance of rain each day for the rest of this week, so we decided to take advantage of today's pretty weather by spending it all outside.

Here's a slideshow of the pictures we took:

One extra-funny part of the day was when Lilly came trotting up to me, all concerned, with something in her hand.  She asked me in a hushed, worried tone, "MOMMY, IS THIS A DRUG LEAF?!?":

I laughed and laughed and told her no; that it was just a leaf from a Japanese maple tree!  Relieved, Lilly said "OH, WHEW!  'Cuz I thought it was a drug leaf"!

LOL!!!

Roman Numeral Clock Discovery

Well, I was laying in bed one morning a couple of days ago after I had just woken up.  I was just casually glancing around the bedroom, thinking random thoughts while trying to get motivated to hop out of bed.  I have a big clock on the wall in my bedroom that belonged to my grandma.  Here's a picture of it:

I have always enjoyed looking at this clock.  My eyes will just go from number to number, clockwise, and it's just somehow fun and soothing to me.

So there I was, moving my eyes around the dial, thinking "5", "10", "15"...in my head, when all of a sudden it dawned on me.

I got to the "4", and noticed that the Roman numeral said "IIII".  And I was like WAITAMINIT.  Isn't the Roman numeral for "4" "IV"?!?

So there I continued to lay in the bed, my eyes burning holes on the "IIII" of that clock like lasers.  I was confused.

Eventually Lilly (who was asleep next to me) woke up, and the first thing I asked her was, "Lilly, what's the Roman numeral for "4"?  And she sleepily replied "IV".  And I told her about the clock on the wall saying "IIII" in place of the "4" instead of "IV".  Lilly was completely nonplussed, and explained that on a clock, you can use either "IIII" or "IV" for the "4", and either one is correct.

And I was like:

I found that hard to believe.  I just knew it probably had to be some kind of mistake.  And even more mind-blowingly, I'd stared intently at that very same clock for the past 30 years, and never noticed that the "4" said "IIII" instead of "IV"!!!

So yesterday, I checked all the other clocks I have with Roman numerals on their faces, and lo and behold, they ALL had the "IIII' where the "4" should be!  I was flabbergasted!  Here's the evidence:

(This one was at my brother & sister-in-law's house):

So I Googled it, and as it turns out, Lilly was right (are you smarter than a 5th grader?  LOL).  It's perfectly acceptable to use either "IIII' or "IV" for the "4" on a Roman numeral-faced clock.  There are a couple of theories about it, but nobody knows exactly why.

Then I took a notion to Google again and check to see what's on the face of the most famous clock in the world (Big Ben in London -- which "Big Ben" is actually the name of the bell inside the clock; not the entire clock itself)...but anyway...see for yourself what ol' "Big Ben" has for the "4":

What's that?  Well, well, well...if it ain't a big ol' "IV" in the place of the "4".

You never know what you're gonna get!  I'm glad I discovered the "4" / "IIII" / "IV" thing, but I have a feeling it might drive me a little crazy!  (Hmm...I wonder what's on the clock at our historic courthouse in town)...I'll have to go check and report back...!  :P