More "Old People" Mail

Well, the "Old People" mail has slacked off quite a bit lately.  Maybe they'll think that I got so old that I finally died, and they'll start removing my name from their mailing lists!  Ha!

I got this particular piece of "Old People" mail a couple of weeks ago, but I didn't actually open it until just a while ago:

It's always funny to me to see the stock photos that they choose to advertise with.  I mean, you know they've probably got about a dozen graphic designers that are mostly in their 20s picking these things out.

The stock photo above makes me think that the lady's saying "Bill!  Stop it!  Bill, that tickles!  *sigh* If I'd known that getting us that affordable health insurance was gonna cause you to get so frisky, I would never have brought you to the beach!"

LOL!

And on the inside of this mailing, was this picture randomly placed in one corner:

A stack of books.  On a little table.  Because, I don't know, old people?

But the next picture in the mailing was my favorite:

Old dude wearing glasses that look like they came from the garbage pile outside the back door of Benjamin Franklin's workshop 250 years ago, squeezin' peaches at a farmer's market and grinnin' it up!

*squeeze squeeze* "Aww yeah, now these here reminds me of Sallie Mae back in nineteen hunderd an' thirty eight!  Too bad now her peaches has turned to cobbler!"

O__o

LOL!

And finally, the back cover says:

And I was like:

Yesterday, the mailbox held yet another piece of "Old People" mail.  I looked at it, and thought, "Dang, another ol' boring hearing aid offer":

But when I turned the mailing over:

A BIG GIANT EASTER EGG WITH A BUNNY!

And inside:

BUNNIES!  BUNNIES EVERYWHERE!  XD  EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Even the "Old People" pictured inside the mailing were excited!:

But Wait, There's More...!  Turns out that if you scratch off this little silver circle, and the number somehow miraculously matches the number printed above it, then you automatically win two prizes!  Guess which two?:

Spoiler:  It ain't gonna be Number 2!  :P

Also:  what if somebody got mixed up and stuck the candy in their ears, and ate the hearing aids?  :/

But that's not all the free stuff you'll receive!  You'll also get all this:

Ok, so maybe I slipped that last one in...!

Hey, waitaminit!  You know what I just discovered?  The fine print at the bottom:

But, I thought that if your scratch-off number matched, then you automatically won two prizes...!?!

And what's this?:

Aww, crud.  Not another one of these.

So not only do you NOT get to walk out of there with a free bunny nestled in half an Easter egg, but you don't even actually get the chocolates or candy!  You just (might) get a dopey certificate to take to a store (and probably have to spend an hour arguing with the confused clerk about how those stupid certificates are supposed to work)!

No thanks.

But, BUNNIES!!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!  :D