So we finally broke down and called the heating & air repairman to come out to the house, figure out what was wrong with our heat pump, and fix it for us. He arrived this morning, and after tinkering around with the unit that sits outside the house for a little while, he discovered that the only reason it wasn't working was because a mouse had chewed one little orange wire in two inside of the electrical panel. He fixed it, and that was that (whew)! He also needed to go in the crawlspace under the house to check out the big 'thingie' (my technical term) that's under there that all of the ductwork connects to. (A large portion of our crawlspace is actually large enough to stand up in, though, so it's not bad at all). Anyway, I was underneath the house along with the repairman (just in case he needed anything) and while he was doing his thing, I was sitting on top of a plastic storage bin just looking around, biding my time until he got done tinkering, when something caught my eye: THE BIGGEST FREAKING SPIDER I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE (not counting the ones I've seen on TV or in zoos). OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, I do fairly OK with large spiders & snakes & bees and creepy, yucky stuff like that -- as long as they don't surprise me in any way. This spider was maybe about 15 feet away from me when I spotted it, so I didn't freak out. I just quietly made a mental note of it until the repairman was gone, and then I went back under the house to make pictures and video of it. *shudder*
I had texted Jamie about the spider while he was still at work, telling him he was going to have to get it out of there when he got home, and he replied back "OK". He's (kinda foolishly) not scared of spiders, snakes, bees, or anything; you name it. Well, when got home, I of course wanted him to get rid of the spider immediately. He calmly said "I know that spider. It's about *this big*, isn't it?" (holding up both his hands to form a giant circle). I said "WHAT?!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KNOW THAT SPIDER?!?" And Jamie, of course taking up for the spider (like a butthole), says "Yeah, I saw it under there before. That thing eats TONS of crickets".
And then he walked away, casually removed his work clothes, and began taking a leisurely shower. And when he got out of the shower, then he began his long, arduous beauty regimen on his stupid freakin' hair. And when he got done with that, he fixed himself some food and began mouth-breathing while watching some damn TV show about freakin' giant snakes and burping & farting loudly with the cat snuggled up in his lap for an eternity. And when the giant snake show went off, then a damn show about Bigfoot came on, and he watched it for about 15 minutes before falling asleep sitting on the couch (instead of quickly removing the spider like I wanted him to).Needless to say, I was PISSED.
Spider 1, Scared Wife 0
I didn't say anything (because I was too mad about it), but eventually he got up, dumped the cat out of his lap, and finally announced that he would remove the spider now if I wanted him to. Sheesh. Like almost 2 hours after I originally wanted him to. When we went under the house to look for the spider, I didn't see it at first, so I figured it had already moved and hid itself, and he wouldn't be able to get it out. Boy, that really made me mad. But fortunately I spotted it lower down on that stack of cinder blocks it had been on earlier, and he was able to get it. WHEW. Here's the video of the spider removal. ***WARNING -- I was so freaked out that I said OMG too much (I wish there was some way to "bleep" it)! LOL! :/
Back when I was a teenager, I remember going to get the mail out of the mailbox one sunny summer day. I yanked open the mailbox, and a big spider came flying out. In a matter of literally one second, it had jumped onto my hand, and crawled all the way up my arm to the shoulder. I don't know where it ended up, because in the one second that all of this happened, I had ripped my t-shirt completely off and slung it into next week, screaming, all while standing right there at the end of the driveway. I can still remember what that big ol' spider running up my arm at 90 miles an hour felt like, and it still gives me the creeps all these years later. Yep, sudden unexpected spider surprise = not cool. I think the only other spider I've seen around the house that may actually be even worse than the one pictured above was one I saw in the garage one night several years ago. That one gave me severe chill bumps. The reason why was because its @$$ was larger around than a quarter, and its @$$ was also absolutely teeming with trillions of teeny, tiny little bitty baby spiders. *SUPER-shudder*!!! Ugh!!! :P That's the only thing I hate about summer -- the freakin' bugs. Bleh! :P Now I've got the willies. I hope I don't have nightmares tonight! :/
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