Even More 'Old People' Mail!

I've got quite a backlog of 'old people' mail.  It's getting pretty aggravating.  A lot of it mentions my upcoming 65th birthday (when in fact I'm really only about to turn 38):

When I saw that this next one was from Colonial Penn, I immediately thought of Alex Trebek, and read the whole letter in my head in his voice.

It would be funny while you were deciding whether or not to go with their offer, if the Jeopardy song would play!

Hmm.  I need a little while to mull this offer over, Alex...

OK, I made up my mind.

And here's my answer in true Jeopardy form:  "What is NO?" 

'Cuz, hellooooo, I'm NOT 65.  >:{

And this sounds like a crappy fortune from a fortune cookie:

That last one above also made me have a funny mental image.  'Unique position' when you turn 65, huh?  Fast forward almost 30 years into the future, and this will be me:

Yep, that's definitely a 'unique position' to be in when you're 65...!  O__o

Here's some more 'old people' mail they sent me:

And below, one of my most hated things.  It's bad enough that all these dumb companies think that I'm about to turn 65, but when they spell my name wrong in addition to thinking that I'm about to turn 65, well that just makes me MAD:

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU...IT'S DEANA; NOT DEANNA!!!  >:{

Anyway, then I really had fun with this hearing aid advertisement:

And, of course...

I don't know when they'll stop sending me all these stupid 'old people' mailings.  I have a feeling it'll ramp up big-time, though, when my birthday rolls around in January, and all the 'old people' companies think that I just turned 65 (instead of 38).  *Sigh*!

I've kept track of all of the 'old people' mailings I've received this year, and so far, the total is 35!!!  When is it ever gonna end?

Am I gonna hafta fake my death or join the Witness Protection Program to put an end to this junk?!?  Sheesh!!!  Gimme a break!  :P