Maddie Will Danse 4 Sellery :D

I was cleaning out some leftovers from the fridge a while ago, when Jamie came home from work.  I handed him a bunch of old celery sticks and a bowl of rice and asked him to give them to the dogs. Here's the outcome:

I am certain that the hit tune "Maddie Will Danse 4 Sellery" is sure to hit multi-platinum, and the new dance craze "Doin' the Celery" will be sweeping the nation overnight.

LOL!

Goin' GREEN! Part 2 - Cheap & Easy Cleaning Solutions

As you may recall, Part 1 of my "Goin' Green" saga occurred a couple of weeks ago, when I was touting the healthy miracles of the green smoothie.  But then I blew up my blender, and decided to abandon the effort for now.  :/

But now, Part 2 of my continuing "Goin' Green" saga is more of what you would expect it to be -- using natural cleaning agents.

Now, before you scoff and tell me I need to go hug a tree, there are more reasons to "go green" than just Saving The Planet, and if you adopt these 'green' tactics, you won't find yourself being drawn to floral-embroidered bell-bottoms, or inexplicably reeking of patchouli (at least not against your will).  Sure, Saving The Planet is a noble and worthy cause in and of itself, but Saving Money probably captures people's attention a little bit better.  Maybe instead of the phrase "go green", they should change it to "save green", and then more people would probably be interested.  (Get it?  Save Green = save yourself some money)...oh dear...

Anyway, I guess it all began back early this month when I was looking through the free Kindle book offerings for green smoothies, raw food diets, and what-not.  Intermingled between those types of books were all kinds of other books about being frugal, tips & tricks for saving money, household uses for items you can find in your pantry, etc.

Well, this intrigued me.  I always hated having to buy cleaning/washing stuff; I always seemed to run out of everything at the same time, and even if I shopped for the items at the dollar store to get everything for a cheaper price, it still drove up my grocery bill for the week.  That, and since I am a newly, self-made, stay-at-home mommy now, and our last electric bill was the highest it has ever been in the entire 12 years we've lived in this house ($195), I decided that it was high-time to cut down on anything and everything, to save as much money as possible.

On a related side note, I think that the #$%^&*# electric company drives their prices up in winter, and lowers them back down in the summer, which should be against the law.  Additionally, the electric company also charges more for electricity used during the daytime, and lowers their prices during the night, which should also be against the law.  It makes me so mad, and makes me wish that I could just fill up my yard with windmills and solar panels, and flip the #$%^&*# electric company the bird.

But since that's never gonna happen except only in my dreams, I have devised an experiment to see if the wacky, energy/money-saving ideas that I am implementing will work to lower my next electric bill; and if so, by how much.  (Hopefully a TON)!

So here is a list of things that I am currently trying:

• Keeping the thermostat on 65 (we have an electric heat pump), and using our gas logs along with the heat pump during the day, so the heat pump doesn't have to work as hard.  Sometimes when we're feeling too cold, we will bump the temperature up to 68, but not very often.  (I'm a pretty mean Thermostat Hitler)!  ;)
• Keeping the doors shut to rooms we're not using at the time.
• Closing all the window blinds in the house when the sun goes down in the evening, and opening the blinds back up again when the sun comes up in the morning.
• Keeping all lights in the house off, unless they're absolutely needed.
• Keeping everything unplugged that is possible (within reason), until needed, and then unplugging again after use.  Even if the item you have plugged in isn't turned on, it still uses energy.
• Turn off and open the dishwasher when it is just going into its drying cycle, and let the dishes air-dry.  This saves electricity, and adds warmth and moisture into the dry, wintertime air in the house.
• After using the oven, leave its door open to allow the heat to come into the room, instead of being wasted.
• Not using the clothes dryer; hanging up our laundry on the clothesline instead (luckily, our clothesline is under our covered porch, so we don't have to worry about the rain).  We also have one of those wooden drying racks that we use inside the house, too.
• Washing the clothes in Cold water instead of Warm or Hot.

And on the subject of laundry, I have begun making my own laundry detergent, and other cleaning supplies.  I have gotten many free Kindle books containing all kinds of different recipes for all different kinds of natural cleaners and stuff.  The good thing about these cleaners is that they're cheap, healthy to use (no weird, super-toxic chemicals like the stuff you buy in the store), they work just as good as the expensive store-bought stuff, and yes, they're better for the planet.  (You wouldn't dump all kinds of toxic waste inside your own house, would you?  Well, why would you allow toxic waste to go down your drains?  Sure, it leaves your house, but it doesn't really leave for good; it just goes right outside and pollutes the ground, water, and air; and the planet is still your home!  You can never really throw things away; there is no 'away')!

But enough of that crazy talk.  Here are some recipes for some cheap, easy, good, healthy, home-made cleaning solutions if you'd like to give them a whirl:

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***NOTE:  'washing soda' is NOT the same as baking soda.  You can find washing soda and borax in the laundry detergent aisle of the grocery store.***

Powdered Laundry Detergent:

1 cup borax

1 cup washing soda

1 bar of Ivory soap, finely grated

Mix all ingredients together, and store in a container.

Use 1 Tablespoon of the mixture for regular loads,

Use 2 Tablespoons of the mixture for heavily soiled loads.

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***The recipe below is similar to one I have tried.  I tried it first because I already happened to have a large empty liquid laundry detergent container, which had a spigot on it, to use, which is what I would recommend you use, if you're going to try this particular recipe.***

Liquid Laundry Detergent:

1/2 cup washing soda

1/2 cup borax

1 bar of Ivory, Dial, or Irish Spring soap (you can basically use any kind of soap as long as it is NOT moisturizing soap, such as Dove), finely grated

Put the grated soap into a large pot, along with 6 cups of water.

Heat the grated soap and water over Medium heat, until the soap is dissolved.

Stir the washing soda and borax into the pot with the melted soap, until it is dissolved.

Using a funnel, pour the mixture into a large empty liquid laundry detergent container (with a spigot on it).

Fill the container the rest of the way up with hot water, and shake it to combine the ingredients well.

Shake the container before each use, just to make sure it's still mixed up, and that nothing has settled.

Use 1/4 cup for Small loads,

Use 1/3 cup for Medium loads,

Use 1/2 cup for Large loads.

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***NOTE:  If you use these laundry detergent recipes, be aware that they won't make suds, like you're used to with store-bought detergents, but it doesn't matter; they clean just as well.

In addition, your clothes will come out having little to no scent at all, but they will be clean.  If you would like for your clothes to be scented, you could put in about 1 teaspoon (give or take, depending on your preference) of essential oil (lavender, tea tree; whatever you like) to your jug of home-made detergent, which is completely optional.***

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Fabric Softener:

All you need to use is plain White Vinegar.

Small loads = 1/4 cup vinegar

Medium loads = 1/3 cup vinegar

Large loads = 1/2 cup vinegar

I PROMISE your clothes WILL NOT stink like some kind of rancid salad.  You will probably catch a faint whiff of the vinegar when you first open the lid of the washing machine after the cycle is done, but the vinegar smell WILL NOT be on your clothes.  Trust me on this.  ;)  I do it all the time, and nobody has ever mistaken me for salad dressing.

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So why stop with laundry?  Well, you don't have to.  Below are some more recipes for other kinds of home-made cleaners.  I haven't tried all of these, but I definitely will.  I've mostly been waiting until I run out of whatever store-bought cleaner I have before experimenting with the home-made versions (mainly so I can re-use the bottle or container).

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Dishwashing Powder (to use in your Dishwasher):

2 Tablespoons baking soda

2 Tablespoons borax

Mix together and put in the powder dispenser of your dishwasher.  

Then splash 1 cup of white vinegar into the bottom of the dishwasher.

Run the dishwasher as usual.

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All-Purpose Spray Cleaner:

2 cups water

2 Tablespoons lemon juice

1 Tablespoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon dishwashing liquid

1 teaspoon borax

Put all ingredients into a spray bottle.

I PROMISE that the lemon juice WILL NOT leave a sticky residue on anything!

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Toilet Cleaner:

1/2 cup white vinegar

1/2 cup baking soda

Dump the baking soda into the toilet, and pour the vinegar on top of the baking soda.  Let it foam for 10 minutes, then scrub.

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Soap Scum Remover (great for cleaning showers/bathtubs):

Use equal parts dishwashing liquid and white vinegar.

Put in a spray bottle.

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Glass/Mirror Cleaner:

3 drops of dishwashing liquid

1 cup of water

1/4 cup white vinegar

Put in a spray bottle.

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Mold Buster:

1 cup hydrogen peroxide

1 cup water

Put in a spray bottle.

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Drain Cleaner/Freshener:

1 cup baking soda

1 cup white vinegar

1/2 gallon boiling water

Pour baking soda in the drain, and pour the vinegar on top of the baking soda.  Let it sit for about 5 minutes.  Then pour boiling water down the drain.

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Liquid Hand Soap:

3 bars of any kind of soap you like, grated

6 cups water

Heat the grated soap and water over Medium heat until dissolved.  Pour into a container so it can cool, and allow it to set up for 2 days.  Then you can pour it into your hand soap dispenser.

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Leave-In Hair Conditioner:

1/4 cup hair conditioner

2 cups water

Put in spray bottle.

I am definitely going to try this on Lilly.  One day I told her she had "rectangle hair".  She said "why do you think I have rectangle hair"?  And I told her "because it's a WRECK and it's a TANGLE"!

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Natural Bug Repellent Body Spray:

Combine equal parts white vinegar, water, and dishwashing liquid in a spray bottle.  Use as needed.  Apparently, once the vinegar has dried, it won't stink.

~also~

To Prevent Bug Bites:

Drink 1 to 2 spoonfuls of any kind of vinegar (white, apple cider, etc.) every day to keep biting bugs away.  (Or, I suppose you could mix it into a drink).  Supposedly, the vinegar causes your sweat to have a repellent effect on bugs, but it doesn't make you stink to other people.

I CAN'T WAIT for summertime to give these a try!  The stupid bugs eat me alive every year!  >:{

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There are numerous recipes on the internet for all kinds of home-made concoctions.  From cleaning supplies, to beauty supplies, and beyond.  Next time you are about to run out of something, look it up, and see if it's something that you can make yourself.  It's fun, fast, and frugal, and a great way to STICK IT TO THE MAN!  :D

And while we're on the subject of Tips & Tricks, here are some I ran across while I was surfing the web today, which inspired me to write this post.  We've all been cooped up in the house all day since work & school was closed due to the icy road conditions (GEEZ, I can't wait for spring and summer; we've all got cabin fever sum'n' fierce)!!!  >:{

Good Luck!  And Happy Frugalizin'!  :D

Up On The Roof: It's Deana's Turn!

Here we go again!  But this time, it's DEANA'S turn to be Up On The Roof!  :D

Since Dad's store roof's been leaking on down
And Deana was not gonna go to anyplace
I climbed way up on the top of the store
And Dad held the ladder for me, just in case

On the roof, it's awesome as can be
Now where's those bolts, oh there they are, I see
Let me seal 'em now
When Deana woke up, she was bored as could be
Then Dad asked me to help him now real sweet
(Up on the roof)
I got to sit high above the crowd
And got to watch the traffic down on the street
(Up on the roof)

On the roof's the only place I know
Where all the leaks are at; you gotta go
Let's go up on the roof
(Up on the roof)

I would have done the job for Dad for free
But 40 dollars, Dad gave it to me
I keep a'tellin' you
Right smack dab in the middle of town
Too bad that all the roofs aren't trouble proof
(Up on the roof)
So if your roof starts leaking on down
We'll have another fix to do
Up on the roof
(Up on the roof)
Up on the roof 
(Up on the roof)
Oh come on Deana
(Up on the roof)
Oh come on with Dad
(Up on the roof)
Everything is sealed right

I must admit that I was fully expecting to crash straight down through the roof, since the name of the sealant Dad was having me use was actually called "Through the Roof"!  Oh how ironic that would have been (and just my luck, too)!  But Dad assured me that it was impossible to go crashing through the roof.  And thankfully, nobody was injured today, and me and Dad were even using the rickety, cursed ladder that he fell off of and was hospitalized with a messed-up back thanks to several years ago.

See all of those bolts?  There are 6 of them all together positioned on either side of the pointed ridge, within each panel.  I glopped each and every single one of them with sealant, using a little bitty paintbrush, for 4 hours straight (aside from when I had to get down briefly to take a break and pee into a little bucket while Dad ate a snack).  It was AWESOME!  (No, I'm not being sarcastic; it really was awesome)!  I love being outside, especially since the weather was finally nice and semi-warm today (after it's been raining Noah's flood for days & days & days, and being so cold).  Plus I actually love doing 'mindless' work, because I can just sit there and think about a million other things while I do my thing.  It's great!  :D

And, luckily, me and Dad still have more work to do on it, so I'll be back Up On The Roof again with him sometime probably later this week, when it's not too windy or raining.  And hopefully the cursed ladder will continue to hold up, so my next post won't be from a hospital bed!  ;)

The Dumpster Chronicles, Episode 2

Well, Jamie came home from work a while ago, all excited about what he found at the dump today.  He told me that I would probably hate it, and that I would probably wish that he had left it at the dump.  But he was super-excited, so I trudged behind him, out in the cold, out to his truck to see what in the world it was.

Well, here it is, folks:

Yep, that's right.  A gas mask with a rubber Halloween mask stuffed inside.  Question mark?  Yep, folks, that's exactly what it is.  

*note Jamie's unbridled excitement*

And, as an added bonus, as Jamie was fiddling slightly with the mask...

(Maddie is just as bewildered as I am)

...out randomly popped a wrench extension tool-thingie!:

S'prize!

And Jamie was even MORE pumped about it!  

*SWEET!  FREE TOOL!*

All I could do, on the other hand, was simply facepalm, and trudge back into the house.

WTH!!!  Really?!?

Jamie can't wait to store the thing with all his other crap in the crawlspace under our house.  Stupid junk!  It's not like it's useful anymore or anything:

'Use By' date of 1975...hellooo...

And that's too bad, because if it still worked, I sure could use it for when Jamie gets the farts!

UHH!

LOL!

So Jamie drug the stupid 'thing' into the house, and sat it in the floor, against the wall, next to the dining table, which is his favorite place to sit useless garbage for some unknown reason.  I had forgotten about the damn 'thing', and after a while, I traipsed into the kitchen to grab a snack, and on my way back to the living room, I spotted it, and it scared the hell out of me.  Then when I sat down in the living room with my snack, after a few minutes, I heard a loud 'bang' coming from the area of the 'thing'.  I figured the stupid 'thing' had fallen over.  But when I passed it on my way back to the kitchen yet again, it hadn't moved in any way at all.  It just sat there, staring at me ominously.

So now I'm the not-so-proud (terrified, actually) new owner of some kind of haunted-ass ol' gas mask.  

Heaven help me!

O__o

OK, so we just dissected the gas mask to see exactly what kind of Halloween mask was inside of it, and this is what we discovered:

A sketchy chimpanzee mask.  Good grief.

But wait, there's more!  See how the mask also has eyes inside of it?  And what, pray tell, would that be?:

Why, it's a bonus cheap plastic skull, which someone embellished with magic markers!  How cheap weird scary creative!

BTW: to whoever decorated that thing, I know that feel, bro; I used to wish my boss was nothing but a skull too!  

;)

Sheesh, What Else Could Go Wrong? / Sketchy Repairman

This is the sign that my grandmaw used to have hanging up next to her front door:

Now I have it next to my own door.  And for good reason.  Everything goes horribly wrong all the time.  And there has been a major rash of things going wrong at my house lately.

I guess the worst of it started back at Christmastime when Lilly acted like a total ungrateful @$$ and complained that she hated all of her presents.  She basically completely ruined Christmas for me.  So I have made the executive decision to put a stop to Christmas as we know it at my house.  Next Christmas, I will simply take Lilly shopping with a certain budget, let her pick out exactly what she wants, and be done with it.  No more wrapping presents; no more presents under the tree (heck, I may not even put up the tree at all); I will notify Santa to skip our house indefinitely, and that will be it.  I told Lilly that this was the way it's going to be, and she wasn't happy about it at all, but I don't know what else to do.  I don't know what I ever did to deserve such a rotten kid, but I've certainly got one.  I'm paying for my raising a thousand-fold.

Then the tag office didn't mail me my car's license-plate tag renewal in time for the deadline of my birthday, so I had to go to the courthouse to take care of it in person, which sucked.  Ironically, the #%^&*#$ renewal letter finally came in the mail DAYS after my birthday had already passed.  Stupid crap.

Then we had to fix the leaky roof (see the January 9th post).

Then my smoothie blender blew up (see the January 11th post).

Then Lilly carelessly busted the screen of her laptop when she allegedly dropped it in her room one evening who knows how long ago.  More about that in a few minutes.  I got it fixed today, and it cost me $110.

Yesterday I burnt the toast I was making for breakfast (I mean, burnt to the point of being charcoal).

And now both mine and Jamie's toilets are mysteriously leaking blue stuff everywhere all over our bathroom floors, and I'll have to figure out how to fix that next:

(My toilet):

(Jamie's toilet):

WTH!  Papa Smurf, we aim to please.  You aim too, please!

On top of all that, our new dental insurance has turned out to be crappy, so Jamie's checkup/x-rays/teeth cleaning that he had done the other day is going to end up costing us around $100.

And this Saturday we're finally going to take Jamie to get an eye exam, and order him a pair of much-needed prescription eyeglasses, and there's no telling how much that's going to cost.  And I have the sneaking suspicion that the glasses will turn out wrong somehow.  It's just our luck.

Not to mention that I've been putting off getting a new valve-cover gasket put on my car, so for months I've been riding around in a stinky car that smells ironically like burnt toast covered in motor oil.

And I haven't slept well in days, so I'm exhausted.  And we have to take Lilly to her gymnastics class and her stupid Brownie meeting tonight.  I think I'll go back to bed after I tell you about the laptop repair:

Sketchy Repairman

I discovered that Lilly's laptop screen was busted yesterday.  Lilly had a couple of friends over for a sleepover this weekend, and when I suggested to Lilly that she let them play on her laptop, she didn't say anything and just shook her head no.  Well, I'm used to Lilly being weird and ornery, so I just ignored it and went on my way.  A few minutes later, Lilly finally managed to muster up the courage to come to me and let me know why she couldn't let her friends play on her laptop.

Allegedly, (according to Lilly's story -- which you never know if she's telling the full truth or not -- she's just like her daddy in that aspect) several days before, Lilly had been playing on her laptop on her bed in her room.  She claimed that she went to move the laptop from her bed to her dresser, and when she did, she tripped over its power cord, and dropped the laptop on the floor, which in turn busted its screen.  So what did she do?  She promptly hid the laptop behind a giant mountain of stuffed animals between a wall and her dresser.  Until she finally confessed to me, at which time she pulled it out from where she had stashed it, and I turned it on for myself and saw the damage done.

Luckily (I guess) for me, I remembered that several of my friends had used this certain 'Sketchy Repairman' to repair their various electronic devices.  So yesterday I texted Cat and got the guy's number.  I forced Jamie to call the Sketchy Repairman, because I hate to talk on the phone; plus, I'm scared of people.  (I know, I told you I'm a freak; I can't help it).  So they agreed that I would take the laptop in to be repaired the next day, and that it would cost $100 to $110 to fix.

So after I dropped Lilly off at school this morning, I swung by the ATM to get the cash.  Then I called the Sketchy Repairman, as I was instructed to do, to let him know that I was on my way with the laptop.  After I left the ATM, I promptly got amnesia and completely forgot how to get to the Sketchy Repairman's house, even though I'd been there several times before with my friends.  So I drove slowly and aimlessly up the road and continued to think 'where the hell is that guy's house, and how do I get there from here'?!?  Yeah.  I was born and raised in this small town; lived here for 36 years, and you'd think I'd know how to get around, but no, not this freak!  I can't even walk & chew gum at the same time, so it's no wonder that I got lost trying to find the Sketchy Repairman.  I briefly considered calling up one of my friends and admitting my plight to them and asking for directions, but I could just hear Tor or Cat saying to me "OH EM GEE" and laughing at me so hard I would have to pull the phone away from my ear in disgrace, and frowning, with my bottom lip pooched out.  So I decided to pull into the parking lot of the Stinky Fabric Store (yes, the fabric store really does stink like old Me-Maws and mothballs; just ask Tor, cuz we had to go in there one day to get a damn spool of ribbon for some idiotic party thing at work, and the instant that we walked in to the fabric store, Tor turned to me with her nose all snerled up and said "shewww", and I completely lost it, started choking and squalling-crying with laughter, and had to abandon poor Tor in the fabric store and go directly back out to the car to resume my hysterical laugh-crying fit in private.  The lady working in the fabric store obviously thought that I was retarded.  It took me forever to regain my composure).

So anyway, back to the story.  After I had turned into the parking lot of the Stinky Fabric Store, I finally remembered where the Sketchy Repairman was located.  So I pulled back out of the parking lot and headed that way.  I almost forgot to turn left at the funeral home.  But I remembered just in time.  Then I forgot that there was a giant speed bump on that road, and promptly ran over it way too fast and hard:

Then I wasn't sure which road I needed to turn on, so I passed by it, and had to turn around in the parking lot of the library (I don't know if it stinks inside or not; I haven't been in there since they remodeled it).  I went back up the road, this time turned right onto the proper road, and finally made it to the Sketchy Repairman's.  WHEW.

Since the last time I had been there with my friends (I had never stepped out of the car before), the Sketchy Repairman had a big fence and gate installed.  And I had never actually seen the Sketchy Repairman before with my own eyes.  But he came busting out of his gate, wearing his Ed Hardy jeans.  I thought he looked just like this dude that played on the Muppet movie:

He was really nice, but kind of soft-spoken and mumbly.  He took my laptop, and we went inside his sketchy workshop.  He wrote down my phone number and name so he could call me to come pick up the laptop after he fixed it.  As I was giving the Sketchy Repairman my info, the teeniest, tiniest, cyootest widdle itty-bitty chihuahua I've ever seen came running up to me and proceeded to raise up and vigorously dig at my pants leg with its front paws.  It kind of looked like this:

It must have been a teacup chihuahua.  So of course I gave it some pettings.

As I was raising back up from petting the chihuahua, I heard a little noise and saw that one of the Sketchy Repairman's three toddlers had entered the hallway of the room, and I gasped a little and instantly started laughing, because the little boy was buck naked; his li'l goobie just a-shinin' for all the world to see!  And oh, boy, was that poor Sketchy Repairman ashamed!  He sprang up from his chair, and sprinted over to his toddler and said gently "you're embarrassing me...you need to get back in the bath"!  I felt really sorry for the poor embarrassed Sketchy Repairman, so I said "don't worry, I'm a mommy...hence the broken laptop"!  And since we were done with the transaction at that point, and I could see that the Sketchy Repairman needed to go deal with his buck-naked toddler, I let myself out.

LOL!

I went back home, and maybe an hour later or less, the Sketchy Repairman called to let me know that he was all finished fixing my laptop screen.  I was like WOW THAT WAS FAST!  So I drove back to town to pick it up.  This time, I knew where to go, and didn't do anything stupid.  Except for when I actually arrived at the Sketchy Repairman's house, got out of my car, went up to his giant gate, and I spent what felt like an eternity trying to get it open.  It had a couple of those super double-secret, you-can-get-out-but-you-can't-get-back-in, fancy gate latches on it.  So then it was my turn to be embarrassed.  The Sketchy Repairman might have been alerted to my presence in his driveway due to my car's burnt-toast-and-motor-oil odor, because he soon came to my rescue and let me in the #%^&*#% gate.  I followed him in to his sketchy workshop, paid the bill of $110, and he turned on the laptop to show me that it worked.  We made a little small talk, and when he turned the laptop off, he noticed that the screen had some residue on it from a piece of tape (he had just taken a screen off of a 'parts' laptop that he had and replaced my busted one with it).  So he worked to remove the tape residue with some Goo Gone, and we continued to make a little small talk, while I petted the chihuahua.

A minute or two later (which felt like an eternity), Sketchy Repairman had all the tape residue off, and I was good to go.  And go I did, after I told him he was a lifesaver, thanked him, and told him to have a great day.  No unintentional baby-goober surprise that time, thank goodness!  :)

Maybe this will be the last of the mishaps for a good long while!  Sheesh!

Dammit, I Just Blew Up My Smoothie Blender!

(It's OK, you can laugh).

So there I was a while ago, in the kitchen, gleefully flinging a frozen banana and 8 frozen strawberries into my $15.92 Wal-Mart blender, along with a cup of skim milk, 1/2 cup of oatmeal, and 6 ice cubes.  It was having trouble blending, obviously, since I stupidly rammed the equivalent of an entire cinder block into the thing.  Next thing I knew, smoke was pouring out of the little vent on the back of the blender.  The motor blew!  It's toast.  Dangit!  Luckily I managed to get that one last smoothie out of it, and just had it for breakfast.  Uhh!

Oh, well.  What do you expect for a $15.92 Wal-Mart blender.  Note to self:  Don't put a giant load of frozen fruit & ice cubes into the blender.  Duh!  Oh, well...live and learn.

Speaking of fruits and vegetables, you always hear that everyone is supposed to "eat 5 servings of fruits and vegetables every day".  But do you know what that means?

There is actually a calculator that you can use to tell you just how many fruits and vegetables you should eat every day.  It's not the same amount for everyone.  The calculator also gives you an example of the sizes of what a "serving" is for fruits and vegetables.  The servings are actually a lot smaller and "do-able" than you think.  After you give it your age, gender, and activity level, you can click the "What counts as a cup?" link, and it will show you the examples.  It's a really good calculator; you should check it out; here's the link to it:  
Fruit and Vegetable Servings Calculator

So anyway, since I blew up my stupid blender, and I'm not really in the mood to purchase another (higher-powered) one right now, I guess I'll have to ingest my fruits and vegetables manually, the good old fashioned way.  :/  LOL.

As a side note to smoothies, our cat Domino has recently discovered her own delectable fish-flavored smoothie:

You know, I'd been noticing that the water level in the bowl seemed to go down awfully quick lately...

BTW that's my Caramello bar that Jamie got for me for my birthday sitting there on the table next to the fishbowl.  Hey, I deserve it after all these stupid fruits & vegetables!  ;)

Up On The Roof

When this old roof starts leaking on down
And Jamie he just got home from his workplace
I made him climb way on top of the house
And stood in the yard to watch him just in case

On the roof, it's dirty as can be
Now where's that leak, oh there it is, I see
Let me caulk it now
When Jamie came home feelin' tired and beat
But Deana told him to fix the roof real sweet
(Up on the roof)
Went to Home Depot; braved the crowds
And bought the stuff to fix the leak real neat
(Up on the roof)

On the roof's the only place I know
Where the leak is at; fix it now, you go!
Oh go up on the roof
(Up on the roof)

I wish all of the fix-it stuff was free
But a 19-dollar fix ain't bad, you see
I keep a'telling you
Right smack dab on the top of the house
I wish that that damn thing was trouble proof
(Up on the roof)
So if your roof starts leaking on down
We'll have a fix to do
Up on the roof
(Up on the roof)
Up on the roof 
(Up on the roof)
Oh come on Jamie
(Up on the roof)
Oh come on honey
(Up on the roof)
Everything is caulked tight

Goin' GREEN! Part 1 -- Smoothies RULE!

OK, everybody, I'm here to let you in on a magical miracle.  And since I'm me, and not some kind of Billy Mays infomercial person, you know it has to be for reals.

(although I have been known to give the 'thumbs up' from time to time)...

So I guess it all started quite by chance back at Christmastime (I know, sooo long ago, right), when I had several family members over at my house to open presents & visit together.  I decided to put out a platter of veggies (baby carrots, celery sticks, broccoli, and cauliflower) with some ranch dip for everyone to enjoy.  It was yummy, and everybody ate their fill.  But of course, I had leftovers (after all, I had bought the honkin'-sized bag of veggies to make sure I had plenty enough for everyone).  And me, being the anti-waste person that I am, decided it would be a shame for all those veggies to just sit in the fridge and literally rot.  So I mildly-semi-reluctantly began nibbling on them each day to get rid of them.  First, I ate them with the ranch dip.  Then when I ran out of ranch dip, and still had veggies left over, I just ate the veggies plain.

I check Amazon almost every day to see if they have any cool new free books for my Kindle Fire.  I suppose now that it's the New Year, and lots of people's Resolutions are to lose weight & exercise, etc. there seems to be a trend of a wide variety of weight loss/diet/fitness/health books being available for the Kindle right now.

I curiously perused the Paleo/Caveman diet books, just to see what all the hype was about.  Then I came across the Raw Foods diet books.  And the million different Smoothie books that seem to be all the rage right now.

Growing up, I was an EXTREMELY picky eater.  I did NOT like ANY vegetables...except, strangely, if they were completely raw.  But who eats like that?  It's not normal, right?  We're civilized; you gotta cook the food, right?  (Well, I have never been known for being 'normal', but that's beside the point).  

The thing is, I have stumbled upon THE KEY to losing weight, getting healthy, and feeling good, all WITHOUT doing any hard work, starving, or exercising.  You can actually eat as much as you want, and whenever you want, just as long as you eat the proper foods.

I know, man, I totally feel like some kind of sketchy infomercial right now.  "DEANA MAYS HERE WITH A TRULY AMAZING LIFE-CHANGING PRODUCT"!!!  Ha!

Seriously, though, the key is to eat whole foods.  Raw foods in their natural state.  No overly-processed, fake, factory-made, packaged, preservative-filled, chemical-y stuff.  Just eat mostly fruits, vegetables, and make sure you get 64 ounces of water in you each day.  Real nutrition.  Real hydration.  It's what your body is designed to run on.  It's as simple as that.

Eating all those leftover veggies from the veggie tray I had at my little Christmas get-together was fine.  But it can get a little old chewing your way through all that crunchy roughage.  I became a little intrigued with the idea of the smoothie.  So I got some free books for my Kindle and read up on them.

With smoothies, you can blend a LOAD of fruits and veggies together at one time, and they taste good and sweet (believe it or not).  You don't have to worry about 'all that sugar' in the fruit, because it's natural.

So I decided I wanted to give this whole Smoothie thing a whirl.  Pun intended, LOL.  First of all, I didn't have a blender.  So I went on Wal-Mart's website, and lo and behold, they had one available in my local store for the unbelievably low price of only $15.92, and it had a 4 & 1/2 star rating, with 495 positive reviews:

So the next morning after I dropped Lilly off at school, I swung by Wal-Mart on my way back home and purchased one.  I took it home and tried blending together my very first smoothie.  I had a can of pineapple chunks in the cabinet that had been there for months, and I had some ripe bananas (they were just starting to get some dark spots on their skins, and that's a little past the point that I like to eat them).  But it's fine for smoothies!  I think I also put in a little water, too, so that it could blend, and maybe some ice cubes too.  I took a drink...not bad!  Plus this particular blender is awesome because it's kind of small, and you can take the part that holds the drink with you anywhere; it will fit in your car's cupholder, and the lid has a spout that you can drink straight from (or stick a straw in, like I do).

So I'm sold.  I have officially hopped on the smoothie bandwagon.  The best thing is that you don't even have to have a recipe; you can experiment, and just dump in whatever you like, or have on hand, and make it work.  And it's completely healthy!  It seems more like a milkshake kind of treat than something healthy for you!

This morning in my blender I put in a frozen banana, 1/2 cup of rolled oats (oatmeal), and the equivalent of 1 pear and 1 peach (the pears and peaches came out of cans, which is fine; if you don't have fresh fruit, eating canned or frozen fruit is better than eating no fruit at all, as long as it is as natural as possible, with no crazy additives & chemicals such as high fructose corn syrup in it), and half a cup of fat-free milk, to help it blend together.  Believe it or not, it kept me full until well into the afternoon!  It's a whole lot easier to drink a bowl's worth of oatmeal, and eat a banana, a peach, and a pear all combined together than to sit down and chew up all that stuff one after the other for breakfast!  Not to mention being a lot more convenient and much less messy!  You don't even need utensils or a bowl!  Yesterday I put in 2 tablespoons of natural peanut butter and a teaspoon of honey in my smoothie, along with the banana, oatmeal, milk, and some vanilla, and let me tell you, THAT was really good, and very filling!

The thing about eating processed convenience foods is that they truly are empty calories.  Not to mention being high in salt, sugar, bad carbs, bad fats, bad chemicals, etc.  So not long after you eat processed food, your body still craves the proper nutrition that it needs to function, so it causes you to get hungry again.  It's a vicious cycle.  What your body is really asking for is real food -- real nutrients so that it can run properly.  And if you give it what it's asking for, it will shut up, and on the upside, you will feel a lot better, look a lot better, get healthier, and begin to lose a lot of weight.  Without even exercising.

It's like this.  Sure, you could continue to eat whatever you want, and then bust your @$$ in all of your precious spare time to try to exercise it off, but why do that when you can nip it in the bud and eat the right things to begin with, so you never have to exercise if you don't want to!  An ounce of prevention really is worth a pound of cure!  Not to mention the health factor of it all!

Back around Christmas, I weighed somewhere in the neighborhood of about 138 to 140 pounds.  Not really too bad at all, but according to the BMI chart, I was almost in the "overweight" range for my petite height of 5'2".  Since I have started eating mostly natural foods in these past few weeks (mostly fruits and veggies) and making sure I get 6 to 8 cups of fluid in me a day (yes, the smoothies count toward that -- you don't have to drink 8 cups of water in addition to the smoothies), my weight is currently 132, and dropping.  And I feel great.

I drink 2 cups of black coffee first thing in the morning, and a little while later, I have a 2-cup fruit smoothie (with or without oatmeal mixed into it) for breakfast, sometimes with a couple of boiled eggs (without the yolks), and I snack on whatever fruits & veggies I want throughout the day (like sliced apples, baby carrots, celery, broccoli & cauliflower; sometimes with a little natural peanut butter) -- although lately just drinking the smoothies themselves have been satisfying enough for me.  Then in the afternoon, I'll make a green smoothie with 1 packed cupful of baby spinach & whatever fruits in it that I want.  Trust me, although the smoothie looks like a cow had explosive diarrhea in it, spinach has a very mild flavor, so the taste of the fruits cover it up.  You can barely detect the presence of the spinach at all.  I've read that romaine lettuce is another good mild leafy green for smoothies as well. I plan on picking some of that up to try next time I go to the grocery store.  Then for supper, I'll fix whatever me and Jamie and Lilly want to eat, and I usually have another smoothie or some more water in the hour or two before bedtime.

It's also a lot cheaper than you might think to eat more healthily.  Packaged, processed, preservative-laden foods, and fast-food are really just expensive garbage that makes people fat, unhealthy, and feel bad.  That's not to say that it's not OK to indulge once in a while.  But eating that kind of food every day as part of your normal routine really isn't good for you at all, and it will show in your body, and make you feel bad mentally as well.

Cooking real food from scratch is also a good way to go.  Think about it -- many years ago, when most people lived on farms, sure, they worked doing hard labor; they had to.  And they had hearty appetites to match.  So they ate well from the fresh and natural bounty of what their farms produced; meats, eggs, butter, milk, vegetables, fruits, homemade breads.  Yet everyone was healthy. It's because every bit of their food was prepared completely from scratch the way it should be; not fake and processed and packaged with preservatives and chemicals that have no nutritional value at all.

Sure, it can be hard to find the time to cook things from scratch all the time.  But there are easy ways around it.  Crock pots are a lifesaver.  You just dump in all the goodness the night before and put it in the fridge, get it out and turn it on in the morning, and 8 hours later, your delicious, hot, healthy, hearty meal is ready & waiting for you.  Recipes don't have to be complicated and expensive to fix.  I've found that the easier the recipe is, and with the fewer ingredients, the better it turns out.

Here's my Crock Pot recipe for Beef Stew that I absolutely LOVE:

Deana's Rockin' Crock Pot Beef Stew

1 & 1/2 to 2 lbs. stewing meat, cubed

1 medium onion, diced

1 cup chopped celery

1 cup sliced carrots

1 large potato, diced

1/2 Tablespoon sugar

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

a 10 & 3/4-ounce can of tomato soup

1 & 1/2 soup cans water

Layer meat first and then vegetables in Crock Pot.

Sprinkle with sugar, salt, and pepper.

Combine soup and water and pour into Crock Pot.

Do not stir!

Cover, and cook on Low for 6 to 8 hours.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy, and it's SO GOOD!  I don't usually care too much for leftovers, but this recipe makes enough for us to have 2 nights in a row, and I ALWAYS look forward to these leftovers!  You just warm it back up, and it's as good as new!  :)

Here's another recipe that I LOVE.  It's for meatloaf, which is usually unappetizing and kind of gross, but THIS meatloaf actually ROCKS, and it's so easy!  The secret is the BBQ sauce.

Deana's Rockin' Meatloaf

1 pound ground beef (I always buy the leanest)

1 egg

1/4 cup finely diced onion

1/4 cup milk

3 Tablespoons Italian bread crumbs

Salt & Pepper to taste (I use about 1/2 tsp. & 1/4 tsp., respectively)

1/2 cup of Sweet Baby Ray's Sweet 'n Spicy Barbecue Sauce

Mix the meat, egg, onion milk, bread crumbs & HALF of the BBQ sauce all together.  Add salt & pepper.  Mix until thoroughly combined.  Form into a small pan, and top with remaining BBQ sauce.  Bake at 375 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes.

I'm gonna make this meatloaf for supper tomorrow night -- I'm super-pumped about it because I ordered a fat-draining meatloaf pan & it came through the mail today:

WHOOP WHOOP!

And I'll probably fix some green beans & mashed taters to go along with it.  YUMMM-O!

Here's a picture of the green smoothie I made earlier this afternoon.  It has 1/2 cup of fat-free milk, 1 packed cup of baby spinach, canned pineapple chunks, and frozen blueberries in it.  It totally looked like I scooped my cup in a mudhole that a cow had taken a spluttery dump in, but it tasted sweet and fine!  You just ignore the color & drink away!  :D

I'm still in the experimental stages of figuring out which fruits go best together, but I haven't made anything undrinkable yet!  :)

The moral of the story:

Eat to Live, not Live to Eat.

and TASTE THE RAINBOW!!!

(which all of the colors of the rainbow mixed together is, ironically, brown, but don't look at it, and just DRINK UP)!  :D