Sneaky Domino / Girl Scout Cookie Nips (!)

When Jamie got home from work this afternoon, he stretched out on the couch to relax and ended up dozing off.  Next thing I knew, our fuzzy black 16-pound behemoth named Domino materialized on Jamie's chest and began voraciously  absorbing his life-force, rendering him helpless, and thusly converting him into a stale pile of jello:

MMMMUAAHHHHAAAHHHAAAAHHHHAAAAHHHHAAAA!!!

Yesss, feeble human; your warmth, it pleases me...

Hoo Hoo Hoo!  Ha Ha Ha!

(*laughing like Jabba the Hutt*)

A few hours later, me and Lilly disposed of Jamie's lifeless body, and then we had to attend her Girl Scout Cookie Rally Meeting.  It sucked.  I'm secretly (or maybe not-so-secretly) glad that Lilly has gotten bored with being in the Brownies, and she has decided that this will be her last year (this is only the second year she has been in it).  I mean, it's OK, except for the whole forcing-the-kids-to-sell-those-dang-cookies schtick.  It's such a pain in the @$$!  They're really hitlery about it too.  The parents have to give their own Social Security Numbers and everything, so their daughter can participate.  (That's so if the parents don't cough up the cookie money, the Girl Scouts will know who to go after for the debt).  Sheesh.  Yeah, I can just hear the convo in jail with that one:  

"What are you in the pen for"?

"MURDER...what about you"?

"I stole Girl Scout Cookie money"

*entire penitentiary gasps and recoils in horror*

--yeah right--

Anyway, the hitlery cookie chick that was hollering out instructions on what to do looks like Chris Farley in drag:

No joke.  I know it's mean, but if you could see the resemblance for yourself, you'd wet your pants.

The worst part about it was that she was nervous and excitable, and it was evident because she was wearing a bright red t-shirt, and her nips were hard as rocks.  It was like this:

And all I could think of was a new Girl Scout Cookie coming out to commemorate this 'special event', and trying to determine potential names for it in my mind:

• Nippy Nibbles?
• Milky Bites?
• Sweet Headlights?

(or depending on the color):

• Perky Pinkies?
• Toffee Tips?
• Chocolatey Chippers?
• Creamy Dreamies?

At any rate, I noticed that the lady eventually calmed down (well, at least halfway...the next time she stood up to get everyone's attention in regards to the cookies, only her right nip was hard)...!  (Hmm, so would that new cookie be called the Lefty Loosie, Righty Tightie)?

LOLOLOLOL!!!