The Dumpster Chronicles, Episode 2

Well, Jamie came home from work a while ago, all excited about what he found at the dump today.  He told me that I would probably hate it, and that I would probably wish that he had left it at the dump.  But he was super-excited, so I trudged behind him, out in the cold, out to his truck to see what in the world it was.

Well, here it is, folks:

Yep, that's right.  A gas mask with a rubber Halloween mask stuffed inside.  Question mark?  Yep, folks, that's exactly what it is.  

*note Jamie's unbridled excitement*

And, as an added bonus, as Jamie was fiddling slightly with the mask...

(Maddie is just as bewildered as I am)

...out randomly popped a wrench extension tool-thingie!:

S'prize!

And Jamie was even MORE pumped about it!  

*SWEET!  FREE TOOL!*

All I could do, on the other hand, was simply facepalm, and trudge back into the house.

WTH!!!  Really?!?

Jamie can't wait to store the thing with all his other crap in the crawlspace under our house.  Stupid junk!  It's not like it's useful anymore or anything:

'Use By' date of 1975...hellooo...

And that's too bad, because if it still worked, I sure could use it for when Jamie gets the farts!

UHH!

LOL!

So Jamie drug the stupid 'thing' into the house, and sat it in the floor, against the wall, next to the dining table, which is his favorite place to sit useless garbage for some unknown reason.  I had forgotten about the damn 'thing', and after a while, I traipsed into the kitchen to grab a snack, and on my way back to the living room, I spotted it, and it scared the hell out of me.  Then when I sat down in the living room with my snack, after a few minutes, I heard a loud 'bang' coming from the area of the 'thing'.  I figured the stupid 'thing' had fallen over.  But when I passed it on my way back to the kitchen yet again, it hadn't moved in any way at all.  It just sat there, staring at me ominously.

So now I'm the not-so-proud (terrified, actually) new owner of some kind of haunted-ass ol' gas mask.  

Heaven help me!

O__o

OK, so we just dissected the gas mask to see exactly what kind of Halloween mask was inside of it, and this is what we discovered:

A sketchy chimpanzee mask.  Good grief.

But wait, there's more!  See how the mask also has eyes inside of it?  And what, pray tell, would that be?:

Why, it's a bonus cheap plastic skull, which someone embellished with magic markers!  How cheap weird scary creative!

BTW: to whoever decorated that thing, I know that feel, bro; I used to wish my boss was nothing but a skull too!  

;)