Even More 'Old People' Mail

The 'old people' mail just keeps rollin' in.

This first one here caught my eye because of how they did my name.  I guess they were attempting to make it look fancy and calligraphy-ish or something.  I wonder what the name of this font is, anyway?  Times New Ridiculous?  Sheesh!:

Here's yet another one of these stupid things that get sent to me all the dang time.  I hate how they put that red "second notice" junk on the envelope that scares the crap out of you when you open up the mailbox because it makes you think it's about some bill that you forgot to pay:

Jamie got the mail before I did one day last week, and when he handed it to me, I said, "OH GOD IT'S COVERED IN BLOOD!":

Yeah, it was blood, all right.  But it turned out to be Jamie's blood.  Somehow, (yet not surprisingly) Jamie somehow managed to injure his hand on his one minute walk down the driveway to the mailbox and back.  *sigh*

Here's another one with an overly-official-looking envelope:

You know, if this the kind of mail that Senior Citizens get regularly, it's very depressing!  I mean, how in the world could you fully enjoy your retirement with the feeling that insurance companies and funeral homes are practically 'vulturing' you, seemingly expecting you to kick the bucket at any moment?  Bleh!  :P

They could at least send a page of smiley-face stickers tucked in with their awful mailings!  That would at least make it sort of worthwhile...!  Like, 'Enjoy these cute free stickers.  You know what else is free?  Info on funeral pre-planning.  Fill out and return the enclosed postcard today!"  :/