Well, I passed by the 'Easter Blacklight Drama' church the other day, and noticed that they had changed their marquee.
Last week, as you may remember, it said this:
Now, it says this:
Awww, snap, indeed! :)
~~~
Stuffed Rabies
Last weekend, I spent the entire weekend cleaning and re-arranging Lilly's bedroom. Of course, the evening after I got done, Lilly wanted to bust all of her dozens and dozens and dozens of stuffed animals back out and scatter them all around the room, to put them back 'on display'. So I halfway made up a little white lie, and told her that the reason she had a nosebleed the other morning, and why she'd been sneezing so much lately, was because of all of the dusty toys (especially the stuffed animals) that were piled up everywhere in her room all the time. I told her that of course, it was fine to take the toys out and play with them for a while, but that right after you were done playing with them, you'd need to put them away in the closet to keep the dust away, so you wouldn't get nosebleeds and sneeze. This luckily seemed to make sense to Lilly, but then she did pick up a stuffed toy raccoon, play-attacked me with it, and made it say "I will bite you...I will give you Stuffed Rabies", and then explained "...because Stuffed Animals give you Stuffed Rabies".
Seems legit.
>:{
Seems legit.
~~~
SICK!
Late one evening, around bedtime earlier this week, one of Jamie's cousins called to happily report that their cat Piper had just had kittens! So of course we were all excited. A little while later, when me and Lilly were laying in her bed, about to read a bedtime story, Lilly mentioned the kittens, and how we were going to get to go see them this Friday, and added with a wrinkled nose and slight disgust "We'll also get to see Piper's belly". Suspicious of exactly what she meant, I asked Lilly "What do you mean"? And Lilly explained that Piper's belly would be all busted open, since the kittens came out of her belly. Trying to prepare myself for the conversation that I knew was about to transpire, I calmly said "Nooooo, that doesn't happen". Then Lilly asked me the dreaded, inevitable question that I'd been expecting her to ask sometime soon enough, "Mom, how do babies get out of the mommy's tummy"? She kind of asked me in such a way as if she already knew the answer, but just needed to hear it from me herself.
I took a deep breath, waited a few moments to compose my thoughts, and quickly figure out how to carefully word my response. So I told her to come closer and listen; that this was a 'special moment'. So Lilly snuggled up to me, and I took another deep breath and explained, "Well, you know what makes a girl a girl, and how a girl is different from a boy, right?" Lilly nodded yes. Then I continued, "And you know how you have a pee-hole that the pee comes out of, and a butthole that the poop comes out of, and you also have another hole". I stopped there momentarily to gauge her reaction. She pretended to be a little confused, but I continued, "It's a 'special opening'..." at which point Lilly made a face, interrupted me, and said "IS THAT WHERE THE BABY COMES OUT"?!? And I matter-of-factly said, "Yes...it's called The Birth Canal...", to which Lilly (with the look of bewildered --yet knowing-- disgust still on her face) replied, "SICK"!!!
After which I gently chuckled, and then as a footnote, I also explained how sometimes doctors will need to do surgery on a mommy's tummy (human or animal) to get the baby out instead, and reassuringly explained that it doesn't hurt, because they give special medicine called anesthesia to the mommy so the surgery doesn't hurt at all.
Then I put the ball back in Lilly's court by asking if she had any questions at all. I was prepared for a barrage of follow-up questions, but Lilly was thankfully satisfied with the conversation, and she was eager to immediately move on to the bedtime story. So we did.
After we finished the bedtime story, turned out the light, and snuggled up together, Lilly turned to me and asked again, "So babies really come out of there"? And I smiled and replied, "Yep, they really do". To which she again responded "SICK" :P and she rolled over, and fell asleep.
~~~
Springtime...Why Do You Mock Me? >:{
Well, I'm officially pissed off at both Winter AND Spring. Winter, for overstaying its welcome (or basically, really just existing in the first place), and Spring, for being a jerk, and teasing me.
A couple of weekends ago, it was so nice, warm, and sunny outside. I joyfully went outside and dug around in my flowerbeds, raked away leaves from the yard, and got hot enough to actually have to change into shorts. Shorts! I was ecstatic! I know it's way too early to do very much gardening at all yet, but I couldn't help myself, and took the opportunity of a rare warm day to transplant some old tulip bulbs from my front flower bed, to a different area below the house that gets more sun. I planted those stupid tulip bulbs many years ago, and they never really bloomed; I think it's because they weren't getting enough sun. And I figured, what the hey, if my transplanting kills the stupid tulip bulbs that never bloomed anyway, then it's really no loss.
Anyway, I enjoyed the pretty, warm day to the fullest. And foolishly, I sort of expected nice days like that to start coming around a lot more often, now that the calendar claims that it's Spring.
Guess again.
As a lovely souvenir of my one, nice warm day in the sun, briefly digging around in the dirt, I somehow managed to get poison oak, and it has spread to virtually every corner of my body. So it adds injury to insult. Not only has it turned off back to being cold as a witch's tit (school was actually closed one day this week due to inclement weather), but it's both freezing cold again AND I have poison oak to top it off. And it's not like I am an uneducated clod when it comes to the outdoors; I know poison ivy/oak when I see it, and know to avoid it. It's not like I went ape-$h*t like a dork and vigorously rolled around in it, like a dog does in the yard after it gets a bath. There are absolutely no signs of poison oak/ivy anywhere in the flowerbeds around the house where I was digging around that day, and there never has been. But I guess there must have been poison oak/ivy roots in the ground where I was digging around a little, and I must have gotten it that way.
So I've been cooped back up in the house for the past couple of weeks, back to freezing to death, and now also miserably scratching my poison oak rashes, and watching them slowly spread over my body, increasing their area day by day.
This evening I decided that at some point in the future, I will just have to move to Hawaii and open up a sno-cone stand on the beach. I can't take this crap! And it doesn't even get 'that' cold here; I can't imagine having to live somewhere, like up north where it's a whole hell of a lot colder for a whole hell of a lot longer, and snows a whole hell of a lot more! I would literally die!!! UGH!
So whenever summertime finally does roll around, if I am stupid enough to forget how much I hate winter, and if I actually have the gall to complain about the summertime heat, you have my full permission to slap the crap out of me! :/
I did get desperate enough to force myself to go outside for a while this afternoon, even though it wasn't quite warm enough to my specifications (it was only about 60 degrees), and it was a little windy. I sat at the picnic table with the drawstring of my hoodie pulled up to the ultimate maximum, so that I ended up looking like Kenny from South Park:
and I read a little on my Kindle Fire while Lilly jumped on the trampoline nearby.
Hmph. Just when I finally got rid of the horrendous bug bite spots on my body from last summer, now I'll have freakin' poison oak spots on my body this summer, and summer hasn't even begun yet!
Curse ye,
Loving the new widgets and the ability to COMMENT! WEEEEEEEEEE!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad! Enjoy...! :D
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