Whenever I do finally fall asleep, I only sleep for short bursts, and wake up frequently. I'm a very light sleeper. By the time morning arrives, my mind and body is finally ready to give up, so after I groggily get Lilly to the school bus stop, I schlep back to the house like a zombie and crawl back into bed. Only then (at 7:00 AM every morning) can I pretty easily drift off to sleep, and stay asleep for about 3 to 4 hours. It makes me feel like such a loser. :/ I'm gonna be so screwed when I have to go to work.
Anyway, in the wee hours of the morning (technically this morning, but I'll call it last night), I had been asleep for just a little while, when something woke me up out of a dream.
In our family, we have completely non-traditional sleeping arrangements. The sleep-place choices are A) The Couch in the Living Room, B) The Bed in Lilly's Room, and C) what I call "My Bed". But most importantly, at no time whatsoever do Jamie and I ever occupy the same sleeping place. I absolutely can NOT stand to even try to sleep in the same room as Jamie because he makes the most God-awful rackets the entire time he's sleeping, for hours upon hours on end, and it's all I can do to refrain from smothering him to death with a pillow to cease the incessant noise. It's not that he snores; he just makes very loud breathing/clicking/wheezing/gurgling/whistling/you-name-it kinds of noises. All freakin' night long. And it drives me bat-sh*t insane.
So anyway, the sleeping plan for this particular week has turned out to be that I get to sleep all by myself in "My Bed", and Jamie and Lilly crash together in Lilly's Bed.
So back to last night.
Some weird noise woke me up out of a dream (which pissed me off pretty bad, because it's so rare that I get to sleep deep enough to the point where I actually have a dream), and since I'm such a light sleeper, the stupid noise woke me up.
So I laid there, trying to get my bearings about me, and began listening to the noise to try to figure out what it was, because it was still going on every few seconds. I knew if it wasn't going to stop on its own, I was going to have to get up and investigate and put an end to it.
The sound was coming from Lilly's room. I laid there and listened to study the noise, and determined that it was occurring about every 8 seconds. I figured out what it must be. It sounded exactly like one of those little toy baby chicks you can buy at Eastertime; that when you hold it in the palm of your hand, emits a "cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep" noise for as long as the two little metal circles on its bottom make contact with your hand. Like this:
I came to the conclusion that Lilly had put the toy chick in bed with her (she always has to sleep with a million stuffed animals), and either her or Jamie had rolled onto it, and its battery was low, causing it to "cheep" slower than it normally would if the battery was new.
Well, since the noise wasn't about to stop, I flung off my covers, got out of bed, and made my way across the hall to Lilly's room. As soon as I walked up to the bed, I knew that it was no toy chick making the noise.
It was freakin' Jamie. He was sound asleep, flat on his back with his mouth gaping wide-ass open, and as he breathed in every 8 seconds, his throat would make 1 single damn "cheep" sound. It sounded exactly like that Easter chick toy.
I wanted to murder him.
But instead, I pulled Lilly's bedroom door to (we can't close our bedroom doors all the way because the damn cat will stand at the closed door and meow her ass off until you open it back up again). Damn cat.
And I trudged back to "My Bed" and began yet another futile attempt to get back to sleep.
Uhhhh.
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