Here are a couple of Thanksgiving funnies for you to enjoy:
And, here's hoping that your turkey didn't start out looking like this:
OH GOD WHY?
Anyway, since school was only open on Monday and Tuesday this week, me and Lilly have been hanging out at the house trying to keep ourselves entertained. Lilly hornswaggled me into putting up the Christmas tree yesterday, and I reluctantly agreed, since it would keep us occupied pretty much all day long. I personally don't really like to put up the tree until after Thanksgiving (preferably the first weekend in December), because I just think that Thanksgiving should be given its time too. To me, it's kind of like seeing both Halloween and Christmas items on adjacent shelves in stores at the same time -- it just doesn't feel right. But that's just me.
However, before we could get started on the festivities of decorating for Christmas, we needed breakfast for energy. I started the coffee, and fixed Lilly a bowl of cereal. As the coffee perked, I got out the vacuum cleaner, and prepared to give the floor a really good vacuum and mopping before messing with any Christmas tree. I scooted the couch back, and was just about to scoot the coffee table back too, when Lilly was carrying her bowl of cereal to the loveseat and yelled "EEEEEEEEEE A CENTIPEDE"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, scattering out several pieces of Crisp Crunch Berry Treets cereal and splashes of milk onto the floor in the excitement. I thought "yeah right, whatever" to myself, and then looked. And sure enough, there it was:
JEEEZZZZZUUUUUUSSSSSSS!!! The thing was 3 inches long, had 40 legs, 2 antennae, and 2 stabby-lookin' things on its @$$!!! I quickly grabbed a catalog to scrape it up with to fling it outside, but when I touched it, it switched on its turbo, went into hyperdrive, and began crawling like, a million miles an hour! So all I could do was use the catalog to basically sweep it over to the front door, and I yelled for Lilly to OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT!!! And with one final SWEEP, outside the accursed thing went. UHH!!! Psycho bug crisis averted YET AGAIN! (And for the life of me, I will never be able to figure out how horrifying creatures such as this manage to get in the house)!!!
So after the centipede crisis, and after I had vacuumed and mopped, we were finally ready to haul the artificial Christmas tree up from the crawlspace, along with a box of ornaments and some other decorations. The Christmas tree we have been using for several years is actually the second tree that we used at my house growing up. So it's fairly old and sentimental to me. Me and Lilly began separating out the branches into piles (conveniently color-coded green, brown, black, red, pink, yellow, and so on). Lilly was actually a huge help in putting together the tree this year for the first time. It was pretty awesome. So we got almost all of the branches fluffed out and installed on the pole, when the phone rang. I saw that it was my brother calling (he's off work this week), so I answered it. He was asking if he could borrow our leafblower and a ladder. Before I could really respond, I blurted out "OH GOD THE CHRISTMAS TREE" and threw the phone down. The stupid 5 1/2 foot tree had dumped over and was laying on the floor. After trying to get the tree to stand up, and realizing that something was horribly wrong since it wouldn't, I finally managed to lean it up against the recliner so I could finish my phone conversation. I told my bro that it was cool for him to come borrow the stuff, hung up, and began disappointedly dismantling all of mine and Lilly's hard work on the tree. Once I got almost all the branches back off of it, I inspected the bottom of the base and feet of the tree, and realized that it was terminally ill. It was simply too worn out and completely busted, and there was no way possible for it to be fixed. No problem. I have a Plan B Tree in the crawlspace under the house. Lilly was pretty ticked off that all of our hard work got shot all to heck in just a matter of moments, so she was pretty much over it. She went to her room to play and left me to deal with cleaning up the Failure Tree. >:(
After I ditched the Failure Tree, I hauled up the box containing the Plan B Tree into the living room. I first made absolutely sure to determine that its base was perfectly, completely, and 100% failsafe before I began assembling it. It was good, so Lilly came back to help, and we got it all put up and decorated. I only had a couple of strands of white lights, and one of them had a 1 or 2-foot span of burnt-out lights on it, but I really didn't feel like going and buying more. (Besides, I had bought several brand-new strands of lights at the dollar store last year, and they were total failures -- by the time I got them on the tree, they burnt out, and I went postal and jerked the whole tree down in a violent rage -- but that's another story). So I just crammed the span of burnt-out lights deep inside the branches of the tree so nobody would notice them. Heh heh. So our Plan B Tree turned out pretty good, and it won't dump over, so we finally achieved...
So all in all it was a pretty good day. Until...that night. I snuggled up with Lilly in her bed as usual, and we tried to go to sleep, but Lilly was really fidgety for a a long time. Finally she said that she didn't feel good. She had already taken a bath earlier that evening, but now she was shivering, and she wanted to take another one. She said her tummy felt sick, and I told her to go to the bathroom if she needed to puke (a/k/a don't puke in the floor). So we eventually wearily trudged to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and I ran another bath for her. Finally she got cold and wanted to get out, but she was still cold and reluctant to leave the bathroom, in case she needed to puke. Finally, in my grogginess, I remembered that I had some Zofran pills that Lilly had been prescribed back when she had strep throat earlier this year that we had never used, so I gave her one of those. And we brought the bathroom trash can back to bed with us for her to use in case she needed to puke. We laid back down, and at one point, Lilly puked a little bit in the trash can a couple of times in a row, and then I suppose the Zofran kicked in, and then we both finally got to sleep. Sheesh.
We slept late this morning, and Lilly was better, but still a little bit puny when she first got up. So we all laid around in the living room and watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, and by the time it was over, Lilly was perky and perfectly fine (thank goodness).
Kids. The only thing certain with them is uncertainty. Putting up the Christmas tree one minute, and puking on it the next. Ehh!
Happy Thanksgivin'! :D
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