McBonus!

Lastnight was Lilly's weekly gymnastics class, after which she is understandably hungry, so our ritual is to always go through the McDonald's drive-thru afterwards.  You know how that goes; it's like a crap shoot.  Rarely, when the planets align, they get everything correct with your order, but most of the time, they flub it up somehow.  And sometimes, like what happened to us lastnight, it's as if The Three Stooges themselves are there in the back running the joint.

So I pull up to the speaker and order Jamie a "number 12", which is an Angus Burger, Fries & Coke combo meal, I order a Crispy Chicken Ranch Snack Wrap for myself, and I order Lilly a Cheeseburger Happy Meal with Sprite, and also a Small Mango-Pineapple Smoothie.  Great.  Drive around to the first window, you know the drill.  So I pay, and that goes fine.  But when I pull up to the second window to actually receive the food, that's when all hell broke loose.

First of all, unbeknownst to me, they hand me a small drink.  So naturally I assumed that it was Lilly's Sprite.  And after I saw that the cup contained dark liquid, I assumed that it was Jamie's Coke, and that they had messed up on the size. That's when the girl from the McWindow said "that's tea".  And I was like "what"?  And she repeated "that's tea...you got the wrong thing".  Slightly flustered, I didn't really know what to do, because the girl was kind of acting like I was the one that had messed up.  So I grabbed it out of my cupholder, held it up, and asked "do you want it back"?  And she said "it doesn't matter".  Knowing that if I handed it back to them, they probably wouldn't/couldn't give it to someone else, and would be required to throw it away, so I kept the tea and was like HEH HEH HEH FREE TEA to myself, inside my head.

Then the girl handed me the 3 various drinks that we had actually ordered, and they were correct.  Thinking that the mix-up was over, I happily sat, waiting for our food.  But the girl came back to the McWindow and said "there's a 'hold' on your 'crispy', so if I can get you to pull up", and I was like "sure" and reluctantly pulled up to wait on it.  I HATE it when they make me do that.  Normally, I'm a pretty patient person.  But we sat there and waited, and Waited, and WAITED.  And I got madder, and Madder, and MADDER.  Finally, a full 10 minutes after we had originally paid for the food, Jamie was like THAT'S IT, I'M GOIN' IN.

Several minutes later, he came back to the car with the bags of food.  By that time, the gas light had come on in my car, so I left McDonald's and started to drive straight to the gas station to fill up the tank.  On the way, I told Jamie to "check the sack" to make sure that they got our order correct, and I asked him what they had said to him when he walked in after the food.

Jamie said "they forgot" and I was like WHAT?  At that point, I was so mad that I kind of blacked out, both from anger and hunger, so I don't remember the shoddy explanation that they gave him.  Jamie handed Lilly her Happy Meal, and Lilly inspected the contents of her box, and it was correct.  Then he began pulling the food out of the other two bags.  First, he pulled out a Regular Cheeseburger.  (What?  The only cheeseburger we were supposed to have gotten was in Lilly's Happy Meal).  Then he pulled out a Big Mac.  WHAT?!?  And that's when Jamie said "we got someone else's order".  By that time, we were at the gas station.  I started the pump, and while it ran, I got back into the car to assess the situation.  Jamie was like "do you wanna Big Mac"?  And I asked him "but what about your Angus Burger", and he said that it was in the bag.  I asked "did we get any fries"?  And he said "yep, 2 orders".

By that time, I was overwhelmed, and said "you know what?  Let's just drive over here and park in the grocery store parking lot and FEAST, because there's no way that I can eat a freakin' Big Mac and drive anyway".  I was so mad that I forgot to close the gas flap on the car after finishing pumping the gas and screwing the gas cap back on & didn't realize it 'til later.

So even though I ordered a measly little Crispy Chicken Ranch Snack Wrap (and would have been completely happy and satisfied with it), I angrily inhaled the entire Big Mac AND fries (neither of which we had ordered)!  (In my defense, I had only eaten 1 small honey-bun for breakfast, and some nachos with cheese for lunch earlier that day).  Halfway through my Big Mac, after I had calmed down a little, I asked Jamie "so we didn't even GET a Snack Wrap"?  And he riffled through the McSack again, discovered it, yanked it out, and said "Yep"!

@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*

So in the end, it turned out that we DID get what we ordered after all, PLUS somebody else's order!

YESSS!

At that point, finally discovering that we came out ahead in the end, I figured that the 10-minute wait and aggravation was worth it, and I could eat the extra food the following day (albeit warmed-over and kinda gross, but hey, I ain't picky).

On a funny side note, after being SO MAD, and then quickly ingesting all those carbs/fat/salt/grease, it was mildly difficult for me to drive home!  I was swerving a little, and driving how I imagine that someone slightly inebriated might!  I could just imagine getting pulled over --
Me (slurring, with glazed-over eyes):  "But Officer, I just got really pissed off & had to calm myself down with a Big Mac".

Officer (thinking to himself):  "Big Mac, huh?  So that's what they're calling it these days -- add that one to the lingo book".

On a disgusting side note, after ingesting such a meal, I fully expect to have the need to temporarily change my address to 123 Bathroom Street for the next day or so, if you know what I mean.  Because here it is at 5:00 in the morning, and I've been sitting up with acid reflux telling this story to you!  *McGroan*

:/