Rosebush 1, Deana 0

Earlier this evening, Lilly wanted to go outside and jump on her trampoline.  I told her sure, and that I would come with her.  So we started walking down our driveway towards the trampoline.  My brother & sister-in-law (Derek & Jenna's) house is across the street, not very far at all through some thin woods, and we could see that Derek was outside with his little 2-year old daughter, Claire, swinging on their swingset.  So in lieu of jumping on the trampoline, me and Lilly opted to walk over to Derek, Jenna, & Claire's house and visit with them instead.  So we all played on Claire's little swingset outside for a while.  It started getting just a little bit dark and cooler, so we went inside their house to continue our visit.  After a while, it got pretty dark, and I told Lilly that we needed to walk back home.  Since Claire is 2, Derek & Jenna have a baby gate in the doorway of her bedroom, and another baby gate in the opening between their living room and kitchen.  I was standing at the open baby gate at the entrance to the kitchen, telling Lilly it was time for us to go, and Jenna asked me if I would shut the baby gate behind me to keep Claire in the living room with her and Derek, so they could watch her.  I did, and then me and Jenna talked for a few minutes about how we both had been tripped, fallen, and practically killed by each of our respective baby gates.

So then me and Lilly left.  It was really dark outside, even with Derek & Jenna's porch light being on. We were about halfway through walking down their yard, when all of a sudden, I didn't see the #%*#%* rosebush, tripped over it, and busted my @$$ all in their yard.  Ironically only seconds after talking about how I had tripped & died over the baby gate.  I laid there on the ground and laughed hysterically for a few moments before scraping myself up and carrying on.  I mean, it didn't really hurt too much, but it didn't feel great, either.  Not only did I fall down, but I busted it over a freakin' ROSEBUSH, so there were COUNTLESS, RAZOR-SHARP THORNS involved.

By the time we got home a few minutes later, I was finally able to survey the damage.  The first thing I noticed that on impact, the lighter that had been in my pants pocket had gotten slung out.  (I had taken it with me because I had intended to build a little campfire to enjoy while watching Lilly jump on the trampoline -- not 'smoke doobies', as my brother gleefully suggested after I texted him to tell him what had happened).  Then I pulled up my pants leg and saw that my leg was bleeding.  I pulled it up further.  More blood.  And some bruising.  On both legs.  Then I realized that my poor pants had been completely shredded by the accursed rosebush, and were grass-stained to the hilt from the @$$-bust.  So the total damage is about 6 bloody thorn-scrapes & light bruising on my legs, and the pants are toast.  Hopefully I'll be able to find my lighter in the yard tomorrow.

LOL!