A few nights ago, we had a quick supper of Hamburger Helper. The next day, as I was fiddling around the house, I came thisclose to sharting. Hours later, when Jamie came home from work, he announced to me that he had sharted severely early that morning. He had just emptied a dumpster. Then the shart occurred. Once he realized his mistake, he grabbed a paper towel from the cab of his garbage truck, stood under a lone streetlight all out in the open (nobody's around at 4:00 AM to see anyway), and cleaned himself up the best he could. Then he flung the poopy-towel into the dumpster that he had just emptied. O__o
This afternoon, when I picked Lilly up at the school bus stop, she looked at me very seriously, and said sternly "Mom, guess what......look", and began pulling down her pants in the car. Alarmed, I had no idea exactly what she was about to reveal to me. Then she turned around with her 'full moon' pointed in my direction, and I saw it in the undies. Super-Severe Shart at 12:00 (no, seriously, it really did happen at lunchtime...LOL)! What a milestone...Lilly's first shart! Then Lilly went on to explain to me that after it happened, and she realized her mistake (her shart was so epic that you could actually see it through the pair of shorts she was wearing), she tied her jacket around her waist and ended up waltzing around like that for the rest of the day. (Thank God for that jacket)! I asked Lilly if anybody had seen the shart-stain, or knew that she had sharted (or if anyone mentioned that they smelled something bad whenever they got near her), but luckily they were none the wiser. WHEW! Shart secret concealed!
After I got done laughing about everybody's shart mishaps, It finally dawned on me, and I put 2 and 2 together.
So no more Hamburger Helper for us. :/
"Hey, Helping Hand"?
"How's about grabbin' a paper towel & bringing it to me in the bathroom...I've got something else you can Help me with..."
LOL!
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